Change of Heart
by beepbeepbop
Summary: Marisa has never had an easy life. She's learned it's easier to trust no one but herself but will that all change once she realizes the Glee club is the closest thing she has to family? OC! R/R?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! So, this is my first story, I apologize for…stuff…heh. The story has an OC and I normally don't like OC stories but they're easier to write for me so, I hope you enjoy!**

I was reaching my boiling point, I could feel it. Any day now, I can just snap. I'll say things I don't mean to the people I love. I'll regret everything. Then, I'll do something I would regret even more. All I need is somebody to talk to me. Somebody who would understand me, and I could trust them with all my secrets. But I don't think there's anybody else out there like that. I've been screwed over by this stupid thing called God. If there is even one up there...He doesn't seem to like me, I guess.

The best part is that nobody suspects a thing. Most of my friends think that with this stupid fake smile, I'll be fine. That I'm just super fucking dandy with all that's going on in my life. Yeah, they only know a few things that I've been through...like Brandon and I. This whole, stupid situation going on between us. And that I have a few family problems...

Now that I think about it, the Glee club has been the only reason I haven't done anything stupid in a long time. Singing has become a release for me. Broadway. The thing I love most about Broadway is that when you go on stage, and you sing all those silly, blissful songs about some miracle that happened. Some miracle that would make everything better. Because just for those few minutes, I'm in somebody else's shoes.

Writing does the same for me too; I love writing because it has no rules other than grammar and spelling. One second you can be hiding in a wardrobe, and then the next, you're in some magical land called Narnia. Or one year you could be stuck living under stairs, in a cupboard at your Aunt and Uncle's house and then the next year you're at some magical school for Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was stuff like that, that made me really happy.

Sometimes I've thought about singing songs that would tell everybody my true feelings. Or even writing a whole book about my life but replace the names. Then maybe somebody would get the hint. But a part of me doesn't really want anybody to get the hint. I'd rather keep all these things bottled up inside than risking somebody I love to judge me for all this non-sense that goes through my head. It'll be easier for me.

I stopped myself before I could think too hard about all this. Even though it's kind of already happened. I lifted my head up from where it was resting on my hand and tried to pay attention to Mr. Schuester teach us about irregular verbs. Of course, I couldn't keep my attention on him.

I glanced to my right to see Sam and Mike throwing pieces of paper at each other when Mr. Schue wasn't looking. Finn was sitting in the table next to me, and he obviously couldn't focus either. I immediately assumed he was thinking about Rachel. I felt bad because she decided that once she graduates, she was going to New York with Jesse St. James, which left Finn heartbroken that she chose to be with Jesse over him. I knew that face on anybody. I could tell he was hurting, even if he didn't have any kind of expression.

I leaned over and tapped him on the shoulder and whispered, "Hey, Finn. Are you alright?"

Finn jumped in his seat and turned to me. "Yeah, I'm just tired." _Lies. _

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you sure? You don't seem okay..."

"Yeah, yeah. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, that's all," Finn lied again. I stared at him, thinking whether or not to just drop it or ask him to tell me the truth.

_'It's his business,' _I thought, '_He could talk to one of his friends if he needed to.' _I turned back to the front of the room but I could still feel Finn staring at me. I tried to ignore it by fiddling with the metal spiral on my notebook but I could still feel his eyes on me. Slightly annoyed, I turned towards him.

"What?"

"Are you okay, Marisa?" He looked at me with those soft, brown eyes. I could tell he honestly cared.

Mr. Schuester shushed us before I could reply. _Thank you,_ _Mr. Schue. _I turned away from Finn and started doodling on my notebook. I was pulled away from my own little world when Finn slid a note to me. I opened it up and read Finn's sloppy words.

_seriously, marisa. how are u doing? u dont seem okay :/ _

I stared at the note. Somebody was trying to reach out to me. I could either lie, like every other day, or I can pour my heart out right here, right now.

_meh. _

I passed the note back to Finn. Each second grew longer as I anticipated what he was going to say back. My knees were shaking under the table, something I do when I'm nervous. Finn passed the note back to me and I nervously read it.

_whats wrong? please tell me the truth :/ _

I took a deep breath. Here's my chance. I hesitantly picked up my pencil and wrote back.

_pretty much everything. why do you care so much, finn? _

Finn quickly wrote back.

_becuz i care about you and i know youve been through alot.._

My throat closed up. I know that if I tell him about all the crap that goes on in my life, he would care.

_to be honest, im fine acting like everything is perfect when its not. its just easier _

I passed the note back to Finn, and he wrote back slowly, probably making sure he doesn't say the wrong thing. I glanced over and saw that he wrote almost a full paragraph. What is he writing? I was antsy to see his response. Mr. Schue must have been watching us the whole time because he walked over, still talking about the lesson, and he grabbed the note from Finn.

My heart dropped. I looked over at Finn, who was frowning at Mr. Schue. He turned towards me and gave me an apologetic look. I forced a smile and looked down. Of course nobody's on my side. Nobody's ever on my side...

I blanked out the rest of Spanish class. Once the bell rang, I took my time to put away my stuff. Finn was waiting for me at the end of the aisle, but I ignored him. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I walked to the door, only I was stopped by Mr. Schuester. I rolled my eyes when he wasn't looking and walked to his desk. He walked out from behind it and sat on the corner of it. Typical 'concerned teacher' pose. I held onto the strap of my shoulder bag with both my hands and took a sudden interest in the table leg.

Mr. Schuester put his hand on my shoulder sympathetically. "Do you want to talk about the note?"

I looked up to his eyes and shook my head no. "I'd rather not."

"Okay..." Mr. Schue patted my shoulder and turned around to grab the note. He said, "Here," and handed it back to me.

"Thanks..." I said and turned back towards the door to head to Glee club. I took the long way there so I wouldn't run into Mr. Schue.

I stared at the folded note and tried to decide if I wanted to open it or wait. I walked slowly and opened the piece of paper. Finn had written a whole paragraph.

_sometimes you cant do whats easier because it always ends up being the hardest. you dont need to tell me every little detail, and im not expecting it. im just saying that i care about you and i wanna be here for you when it gets your toughest. you can tell me anything, i wont judge you or think of you any different, marisa. you're amazing. you dont deserve half the shit you deal with. just remember im always here if you need anyone. me and the whole glee club. _

I started choking up halfway through reading it. I've only had Brandon to help me all through high school but then I join a _stupid_ club and get this _stupid_ note. And now I have all these _stupid_ people telling me that they care about me and are willing to help me. It's never been like this for me. I've been alone nearly half my life and then now...I expect to know that all these people want to help me with my problems. It was different then what I was used to.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to control myself. I didn't want to breakdown in the middle of the hallway. I wiped the tears but it seemed like a never-ending flow of them. _Deep breath. Sniff. Wipe. Deep breath. Sniff. Wipe._ _I can control myself. _I took a final deep breath and then walked to the Glee room. And I still, somehow managed to beat Mr. Schuester there.

Everybody was having their own little conversations so I took a seat behind Mercedes in the middle row at the far right. Luckily, nobody seemed to notice me so I sat in silence, staring at the whiteboard. Maybe I was wrong, I thought. I felt someone's eyes staring at me again, just like in Spanish. I ignored my urge to look to my side to see if anybody was looking at me but soon it became awkward. Like when you're walking past a whole bunch of people and you know they're all staring at you.

I looked down at the note I was still holding. It had wrinkles where I was holding on to it too hard and had a few dark spots where my tears dropped. I folded it into a little square and just held it in my hand, I didn't feel like letting it go.

I finally gave in and looked to my left and quickly saw Finn was staring at me from the other corner of the room. He looked at me with comforting eyes and gave me a small smile. I forced a smile back and held the note up to let him know I read it.

**Ahh, here we go. Once again, it's my first, so I apologize for any sucky-ness. And also, it may take a while for me to update, as I'm a slow writer. :P Please review! I strongly encourage constructive criticism. Lol. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**It is official, I am the slowest writer ever. So sorry it took this long. School started like a month ago...but that's just an excuse. I really am a slow writer and best procrastinator in the world. Also, I apologize for the choppy-ness. I had a hard time writing it because it's a different mood than the last chapter...but for your enjoyment, here is Chapter Two of Change of Heart!**

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><p>I sat on my bed, staring at the blank piece of paper in front of me. This week's assignment for Glee was 'growing up' because a few glee members were graduating this year. I hadn't exactly picked out a song just yet, but just the topic of growing up alone, gave me plenty of good ideas for songs. It was only moments like these where I punched myself for not writing those ideas down when it was fresh in my mind.<p>

I fiddled with my pencil and looked around my room, as if the words would suddenly come back to me. _1 minutes passed...2 minutes...5 minutes...10 minutes..._

I was beginning to get frustrated just sitting there, trying to remember stupid words. Why was I even trying to write a song? It wasn't like we were going to write original songs for Sectionals...or maybe we are. Whatever, the whole original songs idea has got to be getting old for the judges.

I stared at the bare, white walls of my room. They used to be fill with pictures of Brandon and Teryn. They used to be my only friends but then I just screwed it all up between us. Teryn never really liked Brandon. In fact, that's what tore us apart. Suddenly, that whole day came back to me. Every little detail.

It was about three weeks after school started, and I was just headed to meet up with Brandon before third period started when Teryn had asked me if I wanted to hang out after school.

"Today? I can't, I was gonna go over to Brandon's house..."

"But today is the only day I'm free, and we haven't hung out in a while, just the two of us!" Teryn exclaimed.

"But Brandon was going to show me how to play guitar..." I tried to reason.

"That's all I ever here from you! 'Brandon this, Brandon that!' I'm sick of it! Marisa, I miss you. The only time we talk is when Brandon isn't at school or you and him are in a fight! We never just hang out like we used to. Your whole life just revolves around him now. What about me?" Teryn stared at me with her scared, green eyes that I've always been jealous of.

"W-what? I'm not like that, Teryn..." I looked at her like she was crazy, "Are you...jealous?" _The words I regret the most._

"Jealous! You think I'm jealous that you waste all your time on that stupid, pothead boyfriend of yours? Yeah, Marisa. He is _still_ a pothead. You didn't stop him from getting high everyday. He _still_ does. Everyday, behind the auditorium after lunch. Every. Day." Her words were like venom, dripping from her teeth and straight into my heart. I stared at her, and I knew she was telling the truth. Teryn wouldn't lie about something like that, even in a situation like this.

As if on queue, Brandon walked up to us both. "Hey, there you are!"

Teryn stormed away, and Brandon looked confused. "What's going on..?"

I clenched my jaw and looked anywhere but in Brandon's eyes, "Nothing," I said bitterly.

Before Brandon could reply, I stormed off to third period. I skipped lunch that day and planned to spy on Brandon. I sneaked off to the auditorium, praying to God Brandon wouldn't be there smoking.

Like I've said before, God doesn't seem to like me, so none of my prayers were answered. You would think after catching your boyfriend getting high behind your back when you begged for him to quit, you would break up with him but, nope. Not me. Instead, I have to be my stupid, naive self and make up with him.

Our relationship was on thin ice from then on. He lost my trust and I kept hoping that he would gain it back. Boy, was I wrong. In the end, he kissed Santana. Kissed being an understatement. I did forgive her though, it wasn't the first time she's done that to someone.

Teryn never forgave me either. I've always been afraid that all my friends hate me, and I guess that time I was right. Maybe she never really did like me. Maybe she thought I was annoying and stupid. Of course, I'll never know the truth. She deleted me from her Facebook, phone, and ignored me in school. Trust me, I tried talking to her, explaining to her that I was stupid for all those months with Brandon, but she wouldn't take it.

I don't think I would've survived if I hadn't had the Glee club. They accepted me for who I am and, in some odd way, I fit in with them.

I lost my train of thought when my phone started to buzz. Kurt was calling me.

I answered the phone and said, "Hello?"

"Hey, Marisa!" I could hear Mercedes in the background, "Hi, Marisa!"

"Hey, guys. What's up?"

"You wanna get some coffee with us? Blaine's here too."

"Oh, uh.." I glanced at my clock. 4:15. It was still early. "Yeah, sure."

"Alright, meet you there." I could hear Kurt's smile through his voice.

"Yeah, see ya there."

I closed my notebook and slipped on my shoes. I figured I could slip past my dad sleeping on the couch, much like every other night. It wasn't like he would notice I was gone anyways. Even if he did, why would he care? He hasn't talked to me since our last fight, three weeks ago. Boy, that was not pretty.

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><p>By the time I arrived at the coffee shop, my friends had already taken a seat in a corner and left a seat next to Mercedes open for me. As I was walking towards them, I check my phone (force of habit, I guess) and I had a voicemail from my dad. I paused a couple feet away from the table, and nervously listened.<p>

I heard what I thought were a few grunts, and for half a second I believed he pocket-dialed me.

His words were slurred, "Where the hell are yuh? Get home now," and he hung up.

It was too late now, I thought. Mercedes already spotted me and I wasn't exactly the one to bail on my friends. I tried not to think of the consequences and confidently walked to the small table. We all exchanged our various hello's to each other as I sat next to Mercedes.

Mercedes looked concerned and asked, "Who was that? You looked kinda worried."

"Oh, it was nothing. Don't worry about it," I shrugged.

The next hour or so was spent with talk about Glee club, guys, etc. It felt nice to be free of my small house where all I hear is my dad yelling at whatever game was on or his obnoxious snoring. I never really get out of my room on school nights, so it's refreshing to get away from it. Although, I wasn't completely away from my father. Every 15 minutes or so, I would get an angry text from him. I never really see in the point in calling him back, much less text. He'll probably drink more and pass out until noon tomorrow. By the time I get home from school, he'll forget all about it. I guess that was one of the good things about having an alcoholic dad- he forgets about a lot of things. Then again, it can also be a bad thing sometimes...

"Well, I feel bad for leaving but I have to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow," Mercedes said while standing up to go.

"Bye, Mercedes!" the three of us said simultaneously.

I checked my phone once more- force of habit. It was already 5, and I've been there for nearly 45 minutes._ 'Dang,'_ I thought, _'time went by fast.'_ I looked at my phone screen again and noticed I had a new text from Santana. _'Santana never texts me...'_

I opened the text and read, _Oh. My. God. Did u hear? Brandon and Teryn are going out!_

I nearly chocked on my coffee and stared at the screen.

"What? Is everything okay?" Kurt asked.

I slid the phone across the table, unable to process what I read. Kurt's eyes widened as he shouted, "What?"

I shook my head, "I honestly don't know."

"I thought they hated each other..."

"I know! Me too! Or atleast they did. I don't know."

"Wait, what?" Blaine asked, desperately confused.

I felt bad that I almost forgot about the brunette sitting there.

"My ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend supposedly got together," I explained, the words sounding weird as they came out.

"Yeah, they used to hate each other's guts," Kurt added.

"Let me see my phone. I'm gonna text Santana back."

Kurt slid it back and I quickly replied asking what the hell is going on.

I anxiously tapped my fingers on the table and kept looking back and forth from my phone, Kurt, and Blaine and it seemed like after an eternity, I got a text back.

"Yeah, I saw them walking together today at school and it's all over facebook," I read out loud, "Of course, Teryn blocked me from facebook," I complained.

Kurt continued staring at me, probably attempting to figure out my thoughts about this. To be honest though, I wasn't jealous of Teryn or mad at Brandon, I was actually confused. They couldn't stand each other when Brandon and I were dating and then all of a sudden they're going out? It didn't make sense.

"Whatever, they're not worth it," I concluded.

I took a sip of my coffee and thought of something to say to change the topic, but me being me, I couldn't think of anything else to say. I honestly hated how awkward I can get. It was always difficult to come up with something to talk about for me. I'm guessing because before this year, I only ever had about three friends. I used to be invisible. I mean, I still am, but because of glee club I always have someone to hang out with. This also made me think, out of all the people in Glee club, why do I hang out with Kurt and Mercedes? They were total divas and nothing like me. It would make more sense for me to hang out with Puck or Santana; I'm more similar to them.

To be completely honest, I wanted to be more like Mercedes or Rachel. (But not entirely like Rachel, just y'know, confident like her). Sometimes I hate being known as the girl with the attitude. Being with them brings out the real girl in me that I never knew I had.

"Yeah, I have to go. My mom wants me home for dinner," Blaine said almost apologetically.

"Bye Blaine," I said.

"Bye, I'll call you later," Kurt said while his boyfriend gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

I smiled at the small display of affection.

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><p>"Oh! I wanted to ask you," Kurt said a while after Blaine had left, "Were you okay when you came into Glee club today? You didn't seem okay..."<p>

"What? Oh! Uh, yeah. No, that was nothing. Don't worry about it," I lied.

He gave me a skeptical look, obviously not believing me. The pale boy continued to stare, not taking no for an answer.

"Okay, fine," I gave in, "It wasn't nothing..."

Kurt waited.

"Me and Finn were just talking, that's all."

"About..?"

"Just...stuff."

Kurt never quit. It wasn't that bad of a thing. I mean, atleast he cared.

"It's just what he said, that's all. It really got to me," I shrugged.

"What'd he say? Was it bad?"

"No, no! The complete opposite of that actually..."

Kurt raised his eyebrows and gave me a slight smirk.

"Oh god no! No no nooo. Not like that!"

"Oh my god, Marisa, you're totally blushing!"

"What, no! No, I'm not!" I shouted defensively.

"Yes, you are. You're blushing!" Kurt smiled.

I moved my hands to cover my mouth and stared at the giggling boy across from me.

"Oh shit, I am...oh god, Kuuuuuuurrrttt..." I whined while burying my face in my hands.

"But why would you think that if I told you I was sad?" I asked.

"Well I don't know I just think of that when someone says it's the complete opposite of bad!"

"Oh god..." I laughed with him.

There was a bit of an awkward pause before Kurt started to talk again. I would've preferred the awkward silence though...

"So you like Finn..." Kurt teased.

"Shuut uuuup!" I whined.

"Well I don't blame you. I used to have a crush on him, well you know, before we became step brothers..."

I shook my head and laughed, remembering the first time he told me that. I found it completely hilarious and burst out laughing, totally embarrassing Kurt.

"I'm goonna go to the bathroom, be right back," Kurt said. He hurried off into the direction of the restrooms while I awkwardly sat alone at the table.

I fiddled with the straw wrappers and sugar packets, avoiding any awkward eye contact with people sitting at the surrounding tables. I pulled out my phone, attempting to not look like a total loser. No surprise, I have a voicemail from my dad again. It was simple, all he said was, "Don't bother coming home tonight."

It wasn't the first time he's sent me a message like this. All he really means is don't come home because I'm in a shitty mood and I hate you. He'll drink more and forget all about it by tomorrow.

_I'll just spend the night at Kurt's, I guess. He won't mind. _

And I was right, he didn't mind. He doesn't know the exact reason why I'm staying over, but I'd much rather like it to stay that way.

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><p><strong>Okay, then. That is it for Chapter 2. :) Also, sorry again, it's a bit choppy, I know. I did have a hard time writing this one. Not exactly sure when Chapter Three will be done but hopefully it doesn't take a month like this one...if I keep getting good reviews the updates will definitely be quicker. :)<strong>


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